Five

The day was Thursday. I looked out the window; it was pouring rain. That was Vancouver for you. It was days like this that made me happy that I had an office job.

The photocopier was out of ink and my computer was about to explode from excessive use. There was little work that could be done with out these two much needed resources. I took this as a sign from God that it was time for a break.

The twenty floors down to the lobby seemed to take extra long. It was probably just the depressing weather getting to me.

The record store was only about a block away. I spent most of my breaks there. It was like my home away from home. Home being the office, of course. I knew all the staff by name and they knew me. I even went to all their staff parties.

*ding* The door swung shut behind me.

Ooh, a new guy. I headed in his direction to introduce myself, but I was yanked aside by Tony. Tony was the unbelievably hilarious, yet serious owner.

"No complicated purchases today, please. Help the kid out. He's your age but he doesn't seem to be too bright." Absolutely hilarious, he basically just told me not to make a huge or impressive purchase.

The counter was covered in dust. Obviously the new guy had yet to realise that this was part of his job description.

"Kristy's the name," I said extending my hand in his direction. He slowly looked up. The expression on his face was theblankest one I had ever seen. Something was up with this kid! And whatever it was it wasn't going on in his head!

Four

The local market place was a great place to meet guys. The produce section sure had earned its name. Three guys and counting. Whether they're customers or stockboys - it'll always be all about the produce department.

Mmm... watermelon. Once again I was lured to something not on my shopping list.

"Excuse me Miss, do you need a hand with that?"

I turned in the direction of the voice. Cute. Very cute. About 6'O", built, pierced lip, dark brown hair...

I'd never seen such a great smile. Wait, it just turned into a smile of mockery. Glancing down I realised that I had a watermelon in each hand. Balancing them at about chest height in an attempt to not drop them. Smooth - very smooth. I handed him a melon.

"I'm Kristy."

"I'm D-."

"Dave!" STALKER. "Uh - your name tag." Woah, that was a close one.

Insert awkward silence here.

"I better get back to work. I'll - uh - see you around." He went red and then turned and scurried away. Like a little mouse. Oh so cute.

Three

"...and BINGO was his name-O." The class had been practicing for more than three months and the song was still miles away from perfect. Or at least as perfect as three- and four-year-olds could be.

"John, can you come here and help me clean up?" I called over to the newest daycare employee.

"What do you need help with?" The look of confusion on his face was pricelss as we stood in the middle of the spotless room.

"Well, actually...uhm...would you want to go out to dinner with me tonight?" I figured the quicker I asked the question the quicker I would get the response and that the rejection would hurt less.

"I don't think I-"

I cut him off, "I totally understand if you're already seeing someone. Let's just pretend this never happened."

"I was going to tell you that I don't I have previous arrangements and therefore I would love to go to dinner with you."

I felt the redness flow into my cheeks. This was going to be a long night. Wait, that's what I wanted...

Two

And that's how my story of ultimate desperation began.

I walked into the coffee shop and there he was. His back was turned to me. Tall, dark, handome. *sigh* I froze as he turned my direction so elegantly, yet still so masculine.

My jaw dropped in utter amazement. Bad luck with guys, once again.

"Hi Kristy," Mark, my ex-boyfriend, spoke the words as if we'd never lost eachother.

Just seeing him made me want to vomit. In a good way of course. He had been "the one". Love at first sight. Right away I had known that I was going to marry him. Or at least I thought I did.

Two months after we started dating he was gone. To where I had no clue. This was the first I had seen or heard of him since. He did it so casually, as if nothing had ever happened.

'Close jaw'. I told myself mechanically.

"H-h-hey. What a surprise!" I responded after what seemed like years but what I could only hope was a matter of seconds.

"I was hoping you'd be here." He said motioning towards a chair. "I'd like to talk to you about some things."

"I'm sure you do," I muttered in an almost audible voice. I picked the chair across from him. There was about four feet between us. A safe distance, I guess. Honestly, deep down inside I was wishing that I could just pounce on him.

One

For two weeks in my life I was on an ultimate high. I thought I'd hit cloud nine. I knew it would end and that the ending would come quick, but still I could not prepare myself.

With my newfound happiness gone I'm left fending for myself once again. 'Try to stay happy. Think happy thoughts.' I tell myself over and over again...

Why does everyone around get that love? That feeling of passion that I desire so much? I kow that everyone has thee time, but I've spend eighteen years and my time is yet to come. Granted eighteen is still young but I'm in a deep-blue funk and I need this. Or something to hold onto.

Same damn job. Same damn bed. Same damn four walls. Same damn thing everyday.

Change will come in time with patience. Honestly, though, that's probably what I'm lacking most right now. Patience.

Patience to deal with the things around me. Heartbreak, insecurities, dear, and the almighty loneliness. I've come to my usual verdict - run from that which haunts you.

But where do I run for wherever I go it will end in heartbreak.....

The jist

I'm attempting to write a story. Depending on the length maybe one day a novel. Enjoy it.